After: The Stormy Northern Coast

What would I give to live where you are?

What would I pay to stay here beside you?

What would I do to see you smiling at me?

Where would we walk, where would we run. 

If we could stay all day in the sun.

Just you and me and I could be part of your world!

---

The vicious wind pounded her window and the rain poured into the fragile glass like a bucket of ice cold water. She did not even know why she ended up in this wasted place where the clock ticked so slow. Where quietness was an ordinary harmony. Where dynamic was a foreign term. Everything moved in snail pace.

She used to celebrate this time of year among the crowd. Where she would drink and dance all night. Where she would kiss him when the clock stroke midnight. Where they would end up cuddling the next day because of the maddening hangover.

New year...

She sighed heavily. Snuggled deeper on her couch within the safety of her thick blanket, secretly wishing for a brand new start tomorrow.

***

Meanwhile, up in the north, where the coast granted the local with amazing weather, a guy drunk himself in his mom's fluffy grey couch. He wished for the alcohol to defeat him while helping him to sleep the night off. The older you get, the more you could care less about the whole 'new year new me' bullshit. He knew way better than that.

He laughed here and there, smiled to his nephew and nieces who were given an exceptional late bed time. He watched his big family snuggled close with each other in his parents' living room. In addition to his beloved ones, there was also her, the nurse of his broken heart. They thought he was now already healed--she healed him. Maybe she did... He honestly did not know the cause of his sudden melancholic mood. Maybe it was just a new year eve thing. There would always be something missing within him during this particular night.

He used to hug her so tightly during this time of the year. Or she dragged him to dance. After that, he would kissed her when they started the new year. It felt like a fresh start whenever he possessed the privilege to envelop her in his arms. Even when they both suffered a severe hangover the next day, they would never complain for the annual hibernation day. They usually spent the first day of every year tending each other's headache with more cuddles and breakfast in bed.

New year...

He stared into space and drunk another shot of Russian vodka, secretly wishing for another au courant beginning when it was finally January the 1st.

***

The bird chirped like mad this morning. She opened her heavy eyes for the first sunrise in the  new year. She smiled to herself--she made it into morning after the stormy night. Reluctantly, she forced herself to rise from her comfortable couch. She picked many papers from the wooden floor--the draft of her new novel. She did not even aware of the mess last night--too caught up with the thought of him.

She stared at the work piece in her hands. Her new handwriting--the reason why she needed to isolate herself in this remote place.

After securing the new script on her working desk, she opened her slightly damped curtain. The golden hours tempted her to bundle up and take a walk around the hills. She fell into the temptation willingly and covered herself with a thick ponco--did not really bother to put on her winter jacket. The temperature would not be that bad, wouldn't it?

Once she crossed her little house's threshold, she inhaled the refreshing air.

And then she felt it...

She felt something shifted within her. It felt like her broken heart mended itself. Like the tight rope that bond her chest was no longer exist. It was a remarkable relief. Yes, she admitted that the vicious knot was now turned into a scar. Yes, it was still there but it did not hurt like it used to be.

Suddenly, the urge to run to the cliff and watching the crazy ocean--the closest she could get to him--kicked her aggressively. She wanted to see the crazy, wavy and wild ocean in which she strangely found her solace. She broke herself free trough the hills. She ran, ran and rand. Enjoying the tranquility within her.

Eventually, she stopped on the edge of the highest brink with labored breaths. She watched the ocean and how the sun shone upon it... It was so beautiful, she wanted to cry.

The time that she had been waiting patiently for months was here. Her wait was over. She could finally find the beauty in her pain. The lessons of her suffering. And realized that only her can mend herself... She was her own remedy.

And on that day, on the first day of January, she laughed through her tears while reaching out for another part of her who was now across the violent ocean.

"I let you go..."

With that whisper she collapsed and cried like she never cried before. He was indeed so far away... just like what he said when he let her go.

***

"I let you go..."

He woke up with a jolt. Fuck! He dreamed about her. After all these months, she came into his dream again. He cursed under his breath, did not want to draw any attention. Although it was an unclear dream, he felt that his heart was like broken all over again.

His headache was now attacking him with full force. His lungs felt so tight and he needed to get out from the house immediately to clear his mind.

He changed fast into his running gear and ran out from the house like it was on fire. No, it was who was on dreadful fire. His chest was burning--it hurts so bad. He ran and ran and ran. He tried to set aside the pain. The pain of hearing her voice again, yet could not see her face.

How could they end up like this?

Suddenly the memory of their painful farewell months ago was barreling into his already messy thought. Ironically, on the first day of January, a brand new day, his past decided to invade every cell of his body. It felt like a physical pain. The more he ran, the more it blew his gut.

And finally...after 5 miles, he stopped suddenly in an almost deserted beach. In the ocean that separated him from her. He remembered those days when he came here often just to feel connected with her. In here, only the big wide ocean that parted them...nothing more. While in reality, they both knew the amount of the obstacles were unbeatable.

He closed his eyes. Funny, how he found his utmost comfort in a place where he felt closest to her.

"I miss you..."

He whispered through the wind--willingly submitted to his overwhelming feeling.

***

It was a day like this that made all the agony worth it--the day her novel was published. In several minutes, she would have a book signing in her favorite bookstore in that city. It might not a big one, yet it was her favorite. The concept of the bookstore was interesting. The owner adjoined the bookstore with a coffee shop, made the bookstore looked like an old yet captivating library.

After a signal from the owner, she sat on the small desk while, to her surprise, many people filled the area in before her. They were ready to listen about the story behind the newest novel.

The event started with the opening speech from the owner then before he let several readers to ask her question after question. She answered every single question patiently--hopping she was not appeared too reserved about it. She loved to expose herself in her art works but not directly in front of others like this.

"Last question..." the owner said after picked a girl in front.

"Why did you name this book as "The Closure"?"

She smiled at her question. Could not help but stole a glance to the corner table in the coffee shop. A table for two. Where everything began. When she fell in love...

"Have you ever feel the need to leave something behind? You dwell in it for a very long time. While deep down, you know that you should let it go at some point because sooner or later, it would hurt you badly if you insist to preserve such thing.

I name this new baby of mine as "The Closure" because I believe that every closure is always be the beginning of something better.

It is a moment when you overcome yourself and your struggle is finally paid off. It is a mark when you finally elevate yourself into a whole new higher level. As ironic as it may sound, people will finally learn their lessons precisely at the really end of every circumstance. At the end of every memory. At the end of love. At the end of commitment...even, at the end of their life.

Through this novel, I would like to share the art of letting go. To bravely reach out for your closure--no matter how hard it might be. You have been delaying your happiness for far too long.

At the end of the day, only you who can heal your self..."

***

He hated Paris. Especially, when it was raining like now. His bastard boss sent him here to finish some deals. Thanked God, it was over now. After almost two days of not sleeping, his meeting was finally over this morning. He was hopping for a better weather so he could do some sightseeing or met his French colleagues. Or he would just go to his favorite coffee shop in Paris, Café de Flore. Since he had a serious need of caffeine today, he knew Café de Flore's traditional French café crème would satisfy the need perfectly.

He walked through Saint Germain, blended with the Parisians on one of their crowded streets. Other than being so touristy, he should admit that Saint Germain was artsy. However, before he reached the coffee shop, he stopped by to his--well, her favorite book store: Librairie L'Ecume des Pages. He felt like torturing himself further today. Although he realized that February was approaching, he still had the urge to feel the abstract connection with her. 

He entered the place. For some pathetic reason, he knew that her book was released today--maybe that was the main reason why his evil heart dragged him to this bookstore. He, once again, tried to talk himself for not going to that shelf in the other side of the room, where her books were tucked safely, ready to be a sold-out in no time. Nevertheless, he was too weak. He gave in to his pathetic heart and approached the "New Arrival" shelf. His rather shaking hand reached out for her newest novel. He caressed the cover. The red cover where her initial crafted prettily in front of it. With a very heavy heart, he opened the book...

"...pour chaque conversation qui est en train de devenir des mots vides

pour chaque rêve qui est maintenant oublié

pour chaque promesse qui est maintenant brisée

et pour chaque histoire qui est maintenant abandonnée...la clôture."

If only she knew...

With that thought, he left her "Closure" behind and walked away. Ready to survive on the life she was finished with.

....

.....

***FIN***

PS: Hey guys, I apologize for the very late editing process. Now, I hope I made this piece better. It was a story that I wrote really late at night and posted rather hastily. I think I gotta need to tune down my impulsiveness. The urge to share this work kinda overcome my perfectionism tendency. And yes, I released this post when it was super ugly and full of errors. Please, accept this apology. Enjoy =)