Within

She sat in a bench near the lovely park in one fine spring afternoon, watching that guy lied down in a grass from afar. He was smiling and sometime even laughing. It was weird though--seeing him from the distance. She shrugged off her strange feeling and simply made the most of her time there. She sipped her delicious ice peach tea while keep staring at him. It seem like she could not take her eyes off him. He was so captivating. He hypnotized her...

There, he was smiling again. Maybe he was in love. Or maybe he was content. Or maybe he was getting what he wanted. Or maybe his life was perfect. Or maybe he was simply being happy... without her. But most importantly, he was happy though!

Yet, she could not smile along with him. It was strange that his happiness was not triggering hers. It was surprisingly not contagious. Now that life had granted her wish--his happiness, she was neither happy nor sad about that. It was simply satisfying her though.

Satisfaction.

She sighed and finally looked down to her book. A book that she did not even read--she was just really put all of her attention on him. She almost forgot everything else.

Her mind was running so far away--wondering why she was not happy right now. Ideally, his happiness should have made her happy too. Right?

She did not like satisfaction...at least not this kind of satisfaction.

Eventually, the golden hour shone upon her fingers. It warmed her... the glimmering lights made her feel content. And suddenly, an epiphany struck her. As strong as lightning thunder and as gentle as the wind...

She wanted to be happy too.

That was why she did not like the satisfaction. It was simply not enough. She prayed for his happiness because she thought it would make her happy too--but no. It was not. She was wrong.

Was she too selfish? Was she too egoist? Was it just...normal?

She sighed dejectedly. Apparently, she had reached the temporary conclusion. A conclusion that would keep her occupied: she would not think about him nor extending their story. She needed to stop prolonging something that was not there anymore. The idea of their twisted plot became so old and nauseating. There was no reason to hold on it anymore for now... Yes, she would still label the end of the story with 'for now' nonetheless.

And the dusk fell upon the lovely park.

She gave him her last glance--determined to no longer watching him in the near future.
She closed her book and stood up.

Leaving him with his happiness.
At least now that she knew that he was well, she could leave with peace in her heart.

She walked away. Hopefully, life would be kind enough to give her happiness.

Yes, she wanted to be happy too...just like him.