I found some psychology study about peak-end rule--in which people judges experience largely based on how they were at their peak and at their end, rather than based on the total sum or average of every moment of the experience. Sadly, it occurs regardless of whether the experience is pleasant or unpleasant. Other circumstances, beside the peak and the end, are not forgotten but are rather not being used by our naughty brain (Source: Wikipedia). Yeah, I know, I was that 'crazy', I started to ready psychology stuff and analyzed myself. Oh! And tried to figure a way out from this prolonged mess.
Lets going back to the word change. One day, in a very brief conversation with my friend, he brought up the subject of 'change'. When I said that everything was changing, he said that it was normal because change was the only constant in life.
I got the meaning behind it, but I had never really thought about it. As you all have known, 'trouble' began when I started to think. I thought, overthinking was my distinctive talent. It was both gift and curse. A gift because when I overthought about something, usually my suspicion was correctly proven at the end. The curse was, that 'talent' was the reason why I could discover stuff and voila...those bad memories were made. Aha! Ok, lets go back to the talk of 'change', I had wasted enough time to torture my barely function heart.
When I started thought about change as the only constant, I imagined a conversation over two old friends. In one fine afternoon, there were two well-acquainted persons sat in a small cafe. The golden hours was shone over their table's big umbrella, they did not really notice the heath. Or maybe they just simply ignored it--the outdoor view was too beautiful to be missed.
Despite of the hot weather, they both ordered two cups of hot coffee. They hated cold coffee because it ruined the fine taste of those source of caffeine beans. An Italian espresso for him and a light cappuccino for her. They moved from one topic to another, but the awkwardness was still in the air. The guy could feel it, so did the girl. Maybe they were just too afraid to talk about it, or maybe they chose to let time brought the familiarity into their conversation.
However, it was funny; once the familiarity between them was back...the tension was getting thicker, and their awkwardness suddenly became an interesting topic.
"It felt so weird, didn't you think?" The guy bravely pointed out their situation.
"What was weird?" She had learned that playing dumb was the best 'weapon' to delay things...or discover more.
"Us. We are just so awkward. It just felt so weird. I don't like it."
She sighed and looked at him in the eye.
"You mean that we are changing? Well, I don't like it either. But lets see it in another way. Maybe it was a sign that we have grown so much since the last time we met or talked. For me, change equals growth. The problem is whether we choose to grow apart or grow closer or just grow by our own selves without affecting each other. The latter is most likely an 'in between' point or...maybe it does not even have any relation with the first two kind of growth." She shrugged, appeared to be not really care. She had gone too philosophical, hence she shut her mouth--did not want to bore him with her random thought.
He chuckled--decided to let that silly topic go. Some things were better left unsaid for they were just too inexplicable.
They then continue their talk about their life again, and let the 'changes' hung between them. They were handed the answer back to the hand of time. At the end of the day, it would be the one that reveal which growth life put them into.
****
Someday, will I ever experience this kind of conversation?
Maybe it will be with my favorite cousin.
Or with my best friends from UK.
Or with my friends from high school.
Or with my friends from the law school both undergrad and master.
Or with him.
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