Someday They'll Know

"My heart is acting weird today. Like when you want to cry but you cannot. Like when you are angry but you think that you don't have any right to feel that way. Like when you want to do some pity party but you don't have any luxury to do that."

He looked at her several seconds before turned his face to watch the bus driver. He was patiently waiting for her to explain her riddle.

She stared at him right after he turned his face away from her. She would love to caress that face, his tired face with unshaven jaw and tired eyes. She would like to ease his stress and pain away but how could she do that when she was now also deeply sunk in her sorrow. How could you help someone when you also need help?

But today, it was not about her... she stupidly set aside her pain and tried her hardest to put a smile on that handsome face.

"I feel like there is a hole in my heart. Something is missing. I feel incomplete..."

She then stared at their fingers. They sat so close next to each other but sadly she could not even grazed her fingers to his, let alone intertwined them. No. Just no.

"A hole?" he finally stared at her, demanded her to elaborate further.

"Yes, like something so precious is taken away from me. No one would give it back to me. Not even when I beg them to. Maybe that is why I cannot cry, because both my brain and my heart know that there is no point. No one can change my situation. I need to teach myself how to deal with it and move on. Don't you think?" She then looked at him in the eye.

He, again, turned his head--it felt like he did not want to see her.

"I don't know... I just do not know."

She smiled. Refused to turn her face away from him. She just wanted to stare at his face for as long as she could. Memorizing every details, like a moron. She was a moron. The moron that would let the world revolved around them while time was fictionally stopped... Obeying her desire to stay. Stayed with him in their little forever.

"I know you know every answer that I need. You just don't want to give it to me..." She was still smiling nevertheless.